Glossary

Traumatic events in childhood (like abuse, neglect, or household dysfunction) that can seriously impact a person’s mental and physical health later in life.

When a victim of abuse is pressured to give up safety, justice, or wellbeing in exchange for family “stability” or to keep the peace, often by institutions or systems meant to protect them.

Small, inconsistent signs of affection or attention given just enough to keep someone hooked and hopeful, often used in manipulative relationships.

A lethal form of physical abuse where the abuser restricts the victim’s airflow, sometimes called strangulation. It’s a red flag for escalating violence and lethality.

Kids who witness or are impacted by domestic violence. Even if not directly harmed, they are still victims and carry long-term emotional scars.

A pattern of domination through manipulation, intimidation, isolation, and control that chips away at a person’s independence and sense of self.

Harassment, threats, surveillance, or control carried out through technology—texts, social media, GPS tracking, etc.

A manipulative tactic where abusers deny their actions, attack the victim, and flip the story to make themselves the victim.

A pattern of abusive behavior in a relationship used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

Any form of abuse (physical, emotional, financial, etc.) targeted at an older person, often by someone they trust or rely on.

Using words or actions to manipulate, belittle, shame, or control someone, undermining their sense of worth and stability.

When abusive behaviors increase in frequency or severity over time, often leading to more dangerous or lethal outcomes.

Controlling a person’s access to money, employment, or financial decision-making to keep them dependent and powerless.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which someone distorts facts, denies reality, or twists information to make another person doubt their own perceptions, memory, or judgment—ultimately gaining control and undermining the victim’s confidence.

Gray rocking is a technique used to protect yourself from manipulative or toxic people by responding in a dull, unemotional, and uninteresting way—like a “gray rock.” The goal is to make yourself unengaging so the manipulator loses interest and has less power over you.

The calculated process of gaining a victim’s trust (or the trust of those around them) to later exploit, abuse, or control them.

A psychological measure of someone’s belief in their ability to shape a better future. Often low in survivors, but rebuildable.

Abuse or aggression in a romantic relationship. It includes physical, sexual, emotional, financial, or psychological harm.

A tactic where the abuser cuts the victim off from support systems—family, friends, work—to gain more control.

Over-the-top affection, gifts, and attention used to quickly win trust and attachment before abuse begins.

A person (like a teacher, doctor, or social worker) legally required to report suspected abuse or neglect.

A personality pattern marked by entitlement, lack of empathy, and a need for control and admiration—often present in abusive partners.

A mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. People with NPD often exaggerate achievements, expect special treatment, and struggle with criticism, while their self-esteem can be fragile and dependent on external validation. This pattern of thinking and behavior can cause difficulties in relationships, work, and daily functioning.

Narcissism is a personality trait that exists on a spectrum, while Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a rigid, diagnosable condition where grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy cause lasting problems in relationships and daily life.

Failing to meet someone’s basic emotional or physical needs, often invisible but deeply damaging over time.

When one parent manipulates a child into rejecting or fearing the other parent, often used as a weapon in custody battles.

The person who commits abuse or violence against another. Also known as the abuser.

Any intentional act causing injury or harm to another person—hitting, slapping, choking, etc.

Experiencing multiple types of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual, etc.) either at once or over time.

The continued abuse that happens after a victim leaves—stalking, harassment, legal battles, or using kids as weapons.

The underlying goal of all abuse: to dominate the victim and strip them of autonomy.

A legal order intended to keep an abuser away from the victim, their home, work, or children.

The parent who actively works to shield their child from abuse, often while being targeted themselves.

A mental health condition triggered by trauma—flashbacks, anxiety, hypervigilance, and emotional numbness.

Any sexual contact or behavior without full, informed, and voluntary consent.

Using religion or spiritual beliefs to manipulate, shame, or control someone—often disguised as moral or righteous behavior.

Repeated, unwanted attention that causes fear—following, messaging, surveillance, or showing up uninvited.

A repeated pattern in abusive relationships: tension builds, abuse occurs, apologies or love bombing follow, and the cycle restarts.

Patterns of manipulation, control, disrespect, or harm that damage relationships and emotional wellbeing.

The overall impact of destructive behaviors or environments that wear down safety, trust, and health over time.

Trauma bonding is an unhealthy emotional attachment that forms between a victim and an abuser, fueled by cycles of abuse and intermittent rewards. The abuser’s alternating cruelty and affection create confusion, dependency, and a powerful bond that makes it difficult for the victim to leave the toxic relationship.

A manipulative communication pattern where one person avoids direct interaction and uses a third party as a go-between. It can create conflict, confusion, and control, often used by those with narcissistic traits to boost self-esteem, devalue others, and keep rivals off balance. In relationships, it may involve parents criticizing each other through a child, asking them to take sides, or relaying negative messages. Overall, triangulation exploits indirect communication to maintain power over others.

The use of words to threaten, insult, degrade, or manipulate someone. It leaves no bruises but cuts deep.